I have never felt so unhappy. Upon returning here, I feel as if I have no purpose. Today seems to be mocking me, with its drizzly overcast weather and ultra-american celebrations. Hot dogs and hamburgers all around!

I’ve seen DJ once since I’ve been home. It’s nice to know that he gives a shit.

Carol is off visiting colleges, and Paige is at a college program in RISD.

Yesterday I took it upon myself to make my way to the library, where I intended to read up on Voltaire. Lo and behold, someone stole every last book by and or relating to him. So instead, I read up on manias and delusions & phobias. I brought home “The Collective Works of Amy Hempel” (Recommended by Mr. Palahniuk), “Pro-Choice vs. Pro-Life: The Ethics of Abortion” and “Schizophrenia”. When I went to go grab “The Essential Feminist Reader”, it was not there, and turns out, all things 216-305 were in storage due to the expansion of the library. I was somewhat unpleased. I read my little book on Schizophrenia last night in my dreariness. Did you know that multiple personalities and schizophrenia are two completely different things? I thought they always sort of went hand in hand. Anyways, while I was reading this, I sort of sunk into a state, and after I finished the book, I took it upon myself to have a good cry. This did nothing but piss me off.

So, I redirected this anger to material objects. I am naked, slept naked, and will remain naked as often as possible (Not in the sexual sense), or wearing the same thing as often as I can. De-materialization has begun!